《2 new+moon新月》第90章

I　
felt。　
He　shook　his　head　slowly。　〃No；　I　don"t　think　you　can。〃　
I　sniffed　and　stared　at　his　big　feet。　〃But　you"ll　wait；　right？　You"ll　still　be　my　friend；　even　though　I　love　
Alice；　too？〃　
I　didn"t　look　up；　afraid　to　see　what　he"d　think　of　that　last　part。　It　took　him　a　minute　to　answer；　so　I　was　
probably　right　not　to　look。　
〃Yeah；　I"ll　always　be　your　friend；〃　he　said　gruffly。　〃No　matter　what　you　love。〃　
〃Promise？〃　
〃Promise。〃　
I　felt　his　arms　wind　around　me；　and　I　leaned　against　his　chest；　still　sniffling。　〃This　sucks。〃　
〃Yeah。〃　Then　he　sniffed　my　hair　and　said；　〃Ew。〃　
〃What？〃　I　demanded。　I　looked　up　to　see　that　his　nose　was　wrinkled　again。　〃Why　does　everyone　keep　
doing　that　to　me？　I　don"t　smell！〃　
He　smiled　a　little。　〃Yes；　you　do—you　smell　like　them。　Blech。　Too　sweet—sickly　sweet。　And…　icy。　It　
burns　my　nose。〃　
〃Really？〃　That　was　strange。　Alice　smelled　unbelievably　wonderful。　To　a　human；　anyway。　〃But　why　would　
Alice　think　I　smelled；　too；　then？〃　
That　wiped　his　smile　away。　〃Huh。　Maybe　I　don"t　smell　so　good　to　her；　either。　Huh。〃　
〃Well；　you　both　smell　fine　to　me。〃　I　rested　my　head　against　him　again。　I　was　going　to　miss　him　terribly　
when　he　walked　out　my　door。　It　was　a　nasty　catch22—on　the　one　hand；　I　wanted　Alice　to　stay　forever。　
I　was　going　to　die—metaphorically—when　she　left　me。　But　how　was　I　supposed　to　go　without　seeing　
Jake　for　any　length　of　time？　What　a　mess；　I　thought　again。　
〃I"ll　miss　you；〃　Jacob　whispered；　echoing　my　thoughts。　〃Every　minute。　I　hope　she　leaves　soon。〃　
〃It　really　doesn"t　have　to　be　that　way；　Jake。〃　
He　sighed。　〃Yes；　it　really　does。　Bella。　You…　love　her。　So　I"d　better　not　get　anywhere　near　her。　I"m　not　
sure　that　I"m　eventempered　enough　to　handle　that。　Sam　would　be　mad　if　I　broke　the　treaty；　and〃—his　
voice　turned　sarcastic—〃you　probably　wouldn"t　like　it　too　much　if　I　killed　your　friend。〃　
I　recoiled　from　him　when　he　said　that；　but　he　only　tightened　his　arms；　refusing　to　let　me　escape。　〃There"s　
no　point　in　avoiding　the　truth。　That"s　the　way　things　are；　Bells。〃　
〃I　do　not　like　the　way　things　are。〃　
Jacob　freed　one　arm　so　that　he　could　cup　his　big　brown　hand　under　my　chin　and　make　me　look　at　him。　
〃Yeah。　It　was　easier　when　we　were　both　human；　wasn"t　it？〃　
I　sighed。　
We　stared　at　each　other　for　a　long　moment。　His　hand　smoldered　against　my　skin。　In　my　face；　I　knew　
there　was　nothing　but　wistful　sadness—I　didn"t　want　to　have　to　say　goodbye　now；　no　matter　for　how　
short　a　time。　At　first　his　face　reflected　mine；　but　then；　as　neither　of　us　looked　away；　his　expression　
changed。　
He　released　me；　lifting　his　other　hand　to　brush　his　fingertips　along　my　cheek；　trailing　them　down　to　my　
jaw。　I　could　feel　his　fingers　tremble—not　with　anger　this　time。　He　pressed　his　palm　against　my　cheek；　so　
that　my　face　was　trapped　between　his　burning　hands。　
〃Bella；〃　he　whispered。　
I　was　frozen。　
No！　I　hadn"t　made　this　decision　yet。　I　didn"t　know　if　I　could　do　this；　and　now　I　was　out　of　time　to　think。　
But　I　would　have　been　a　fool　if　I　thought　rejecting　him　now　would　have　no　consequences。　
I　stared　back　at　him。　He　was　not　my　Jacob；　but　he　could　be。　His　face　was　familiar　and　beloved。　In　so　
many　real　ways；　I　did　love　him。　He　was　my　fort；　my　safe　harbor。　Right　now；　I　could　choose　to　have　
him　belong　to　me。　
Alice　was　back　for　the　moment；　but　that　changed　nothing。　True　love　was　forever　lost。　The　prince　was　
never　ing　back　to　kiss　me　awake　from　my　enchanted　sleep。　I　was　not　a　princess；　after　all。　So　what　
was　the　fairytale　protocol　for　other　kisses？　The　mundane　kind　that　didn"t　break　any　spells？　
Maybe　it　would　be　easy—like　holding　his　hand　or　having　his　arms　around　me。　Maybe　it　would　feel　nice。　
Maybe　it　wouldn"t　feel　like　a　betrayal。　Besides；　who　was　I　betraying；　anyway？　Just　myself。　
Keeping　his　eyes　on　mine；　Jacob　began　to　bend　his　face　toward　me。　And　I　was　still　absolutely　
undecided。　
The　shrill　ring　of　the　phone　made　us　both　jump；　but　it　did　not　break　his　focus。　He　took　his　hand　from　
under　my　chin　and　reached　over　me　to　grab　the　receiver；　but　still　held　my　face　securely　with　the　hand　
against　my　cheek。　His　dark　eyes　did　not　free　mine。　I　was　too　muddled　to　react；　even　to　take　advantage　
of　the　distraction。　
〃Swan　residence；〃　Jacob　said；　his　husky　voice　low　and　intense。　
Someone　answered；　and　Jacob　altered　in　an　instant。　He　straightened　up；　and　his　hand　dropped　from　my　
face。　His　eyes　went　flat；　his　face　blank；　and　I　would　have　bet　the　measly　remainder　of　my　college　f　and　
that　it　was　Alice。　
I　recovered　myself　and　held　out　my　hand　for　the　phone。　Jacob　ignored　me。　
〃He"s　not　here；〃　Jacob　said；　and　the　words　were　menacing。　
There　was　some　very　short　reply；　a　request　for　more　information　it　seemed；　because　he　added　
unwillingly；　〃He"s　at　the　funeral。〃　
Then　Jacob　hung　up　the　phone。　〃Filthy　bloodsucker；〃　he　muttered　under　his　breath。　The　face　he　turned　
back　to　me　was　the　bitter　mask　again。　
〃Who　did　you　just　hang　up　on？〃　I　gasped；　infuriated。　〃In　my　house；　and　on　my　phone？〃　
〃Easy！　He　hung　up　on　me！〃　
〃He？　Who　was　it？！〃　
He　sneered　the　title。　〃Dr。　Carlisle　Cullen。〃　
〃Why　didn"t　you　let　me　talk　to　him？！〃　
〃He　didn"t　ask　for　you；〃　Jacob　said　coldly。　His　face　was　smooth；　expressionless；　but　his　hands　shook。　
〃He　asked　where　Charlie　was　and　I　told　him。　I　don"t　think　I　broke　any　rules　of　etiquette。〃　
〃You　listen　to　me；　Jacob　Black—〃　
But　he　obviously　wasn"t　listening。　He　looked　quickly　over　his　shoulder；　as　if　someone　had　called　his　name　
from　the　other　room。　His　eyes　went　wide　and　his　body　stiff；　then　he　started　trembling。　I　listened　too；　
automatically；　but　heard　nothing。　
〃Bye；　Bells；〃　he　spit　out；　and　wheeled　toward　the　front　door。　
I　ran　after　him。　〃What　is　it？〃　
And　then　I　ran　into　him；　as　he　rocked　back　on　his　heels；　cussing　under　his　breath。　He　spun　around　again；　
knocking　me　sideways。　I　bobbled　and　fell　to　the　floor；　my　legs　tangled　with　his。　
〃Shoot；　ow！〃　I　protested　as　he　hurriedly　jerked　his　legs　free　one　at　a　time。　
I　struggled　to　pull　myself　up　as　he　darted　for　the　back　door；　he　suddenly　froze　again。　
Alice　stood　motio