《2 new+moon新月》第118章

〃All　right；　then。　Edward　has　offered　an　alternative　for　you　to　consider；〃　I　said　coolly。　〃Let"s　vote。〃　
I　looked　toward　Edward　this　time；　it　would　be　better　to　get　his　opinion　out　of　the　way。　〃Do　you　want　me　
to　join　your　family？〃　
His　eyes　were　hard　and　black　as　flint。　〃Not　that　way。　You"re　staying　human。〃　
I　nodded　once；　keeping　my　face　businesslike；　and　then　moved　on。　
〃Alice？〃　
〃Yes。〃　
〃Jasper？〃　
〃Yes；〃　he　said；　voice　grave。　I　was　a　little　surprised—I　hadn"t　been　at　all　sure　of　his　vote—but　I　
suppressed　my　reaction　and　moved　on。　
〃Rosalie？〃　
She　hesitated；　biting　down　on　her　full；　perfect　bottom　lip。　〃No。〃　
I　kept　my　face　blank　and　turned　my　head　slightly　to　move　on；　but　she　held　up　both　her　hands；　palms　
forward。　
〃Let　me　explain；〃　she　pleaded。　〃I　don"t　mean　that　I　have　any　aversion　to　you　as　a　sister。　It"s　just　that…　
this　is　not　the　life　I　would　have　chosen　for　myself。　I　wish　there　had　been　someone　there　to　vote　no　for　
me。〃　
I　nodded　slowly；　and　then　turned　to　Emmett。　
〃Hell；　yes！〃　He　grinned。　〃We　can　find　some　other　way　to　pick　a　fight　with　this　Demetri。〃　
I　was　still　grimacing　at　that　when　I　looked　at　Esme。　
〃Yes；　of　course；　Bella。　I　already　think　of　you　as　part　of　my　family。〃　
〃Thank　you；　Esme；〃　I　murmured　as　I　turned　toward　Carlisle。　
I　was　suddenly　nervous；　wishing　I　had　asked　for　his　vote　first。　I　was　sure　that　this　was　the　vote　that　
mattered　most；　the　vote　that　counted　more　than　any　majority。　
Carlisle　wasn"t　looking　at　me。　
〃Edward；〃　he　said。　
〃No；〃　Edward　growled。　His　jaw　was　strained　tight；　his　lips　curled　back　from　his　teeth。　
〃It"s　the　only　way　that　makes　sense；〃　Carlisle　insisted。　〃You"ve　chosen　not　to　live　without　her；　and　that　
doesn"t　leave　me　a　choice。〃　
Edward　dropped　my　hand；　shoving　away　from　the　table。　He　stalked　out　of　the　room；　snarling　under　his　
breath。　
〃I　guess　you　know　my　vote。〃　Carlisle　sighed。　
I　was　still　staring　after　Edward。　〃Thanks；〃　I　mumbled。　
An　earsplitting　crash　echoed　from　the　other　room。　
I　flinched；　and　spoke　quickly。　〃That"s　all　I　needed。　Thank　you。　For　wanting　to　keep　me。　I　feel　exactly　the　
same　way　about　all　of　you；　too。〃　My　voice　was　jagged　with　emotion　by　the　end。　
Esme　was　at　my　side　in　a　flash；　her　cold　arms　around　me。　
〃Dearest　Bella；〃　she　breathed。　
I　hugged　her　back。　Out　of　the　corner　of　my　eye；　I　noticed　Rosalie　looking　down　at　the　table；　and　I　
realized　that　my　words　could　be　construed　in　two　ways。　
〃Well；　Alice；〃　I　said　when　Esme　released　me。　〃Where　do　you　want　to　do　this？〃　
Alice　stared　at　me；　her　eyes　widening　with　terror。　
〃No！　No！　NO！〃　Edward　roared；　charging　back　into　the　room。　He　was　in　my　face　before　I　had　time　to　
blink；　bending　over　me；　his　expression　twisted　in　rage。　〃Are　you　insane？〃　he　shouted。　〃Have　you　utterly　
lost　your　mind？〃　
I　cringed　away；　my　hands　over　my　ears。　
〃Um；　Bella；〃　Alice　interjected　in　an　anxious　voice。　〃I　don"t　think　I"m　ready　for　that。　I"ll　need　to　prepare…〃　
〃You　promised；〃　I　reminded　her；　glaring　under　Edward"s　arm。　
〃I　know；　but…　Seriously；　Bella！　I　don"t　have　any　idea　how　to　not　killyou。〃　
〃You　can　do　it；〃　I　encouraged。　〃I　trust　you。〃　
Edward　snarled　in　fury。　
Alice　shook　her　head　quickly；　looking　panicked。　
〃Carlisle？〃　I　turned　to　look　at　him。　
Edward　grabbed　my　face　in　his　hand；　forcing　me　to　look　at　him。　His　other　hand　was　out；　palm　toward　
Carlisle。　
Carlisle　ignored　that。　〃I"m　able　to　do　it；〃　he　answered　my　question。　I　wished　I　could　see　his　expression。　
〃You　would　be　in　no　danger　of　me　losing　control。〃　
〃Sounds　good。〃　I　hoped　he　could　understand；　it　was　hard　to　talk　clearly　the　way　Edward　held　my　jaw。　
〃Hold　on；〃　Edward　said　between　his　teeth。　〃It　doesn"t　have　to　be　now。〃　
〃There"s　no　reason　for　it　not　to　be　now；〃　I　said；　the　words　ing　out　distorted。　
〃I　can　think　of　a　few。〃　
〃Of　course　you　can；〃　I　said　sourly。　〃Now　let　go　of　me。〃　
He　freed　my　face；　and　folded　his　arms　across　his　chest。　〃In　about　two　hours；　Charlie　will　be　here　looking　
for　you。　I　wouldn"t　put　it　past　him　to　involve　the　police。〃　
〃All　three　of　them。〃　But　I　frowned。　
This　was　always　the　hardest　part。　Charlie；　Renee。　Now　Jacob；　too。　The　people　I　would　lose；　the　people　
I　would　hurt。　I　wished　there　was　some　way　that　I　could　be　the　only　one　to　suffer；　but　I　knew　that　was　
impossible。　
At　the　same　time；　I　was　hurting　them　more　by　staying　human。　Putting　Charlie　in　constant　danger　through　
my　proximity。　Putting　Jake　in　worse　danger　still　by　drawing　his　enemies　across　the　land　he　felt　bound　to　
protect。　And　Renee—I　couldn"t　even　risk　a　visit　to　see　my　own　mother　for　fear　of　bringing　my　deadly　
problems　along　with　me！　
I　was　a　danger　mag；　I"d　accepted　that　about　myself。　
Accepting　this；　I　knew　I　needed　to　be　able　to　take　care　of　myself　and　protect　the　ones　I　loved；　even　if　
that　meant　that　I　couldn"t　be　with　them。　I　needed　to　be　strong。　
〃In　the　interest　of　remaining　inconspicuous；〃　Edward　said；　still　talking　through　his　gritted　teeth；　but　
looking　at　Carlisle　now；　〃I　suggest　that　we　put　this　conversation　off；　at　the　very　least　until　Bella　finishes　
high　school；　and　moves　out　of　Charlie"s　house。〃　
〃That"s　a　reasonable　request；　Bella；〃　Carlisle　pointed　out。　
I　thought　about　Charlie"s　reaction　when　he　woke　up　this　morning；　if—after　all　that　life　had　put　him　through　
in　the　last　week　with　Harry"s　loss；　and　then　I　had　put　him　through　with　my　unexplained　
disappearance—he　were　to　find　my　bed　empty。　Charlie　deserved　better　than　that。　It　was　just　a　little　more　
time；　graduation　wasn"t　so　far　away…　
I　pursed　my　lips。　〃I"ll　consider　it。〃　
Edward　relaxed。　His　jaw　unclenched。　
〃I　should　probably　take　you　home；〃　he　said；　more　calm　now；　but　clearly　in　a　hurry　to　get　me　out　of　here。　
〃Just　in　case　Charlie　wakes　up　early。〃　
I　looked　at　Carlisle。　〃After　graduation？〃　
〃You　have　my　word。〃　
I　took　a　deep　breath；　smiled；　and　turned　back　to　Edward。　〃Okay。　You　can　take　me　home。〃　
Edward　rushed　me　out　of　the　house　before　Carlisle　could　promise　me　anything　else。　He　took　me　out　the　
back；　so　I　didn"t　get　to　see　what　was　broken　in　the　living　room。　
It　was　a　q