《4 breaking dawn破晓》第181章


He couldn"t be oblivious to the fact that Nessie was the only female of his kind that wasn"t his halfsister。 
I didn"t think this idea had occurred to Jacob yet。 I kind of hoped it wouldn"t soon。 I"d had enough 
fighting to last me for a while。 
Eventually; the others ran out of questions for Edward; and the discussion dissolved into a bunch of 
smaller conversations。 
I felt oddly tired。 Not sleepy; of course; but just like the day had been long enough。 I wanted some 
peace; some normality。 I wanted Nessie in her own bed; I wanted the walls of my own little home around 
me。 
I looked at Edward and felt for a moment like I could read his mind。 I could see he felt exactly the same 
way。 Ready for some peace。 
〃Should we take Nessie 。。。〃 
"That"s probably a good idea;〃 he agreed quickly。 〃I"m sure she didn"t sleep soundly last night; what with 
all the snoring。〃 
He grinned at Jacob。 
Jacob rolled his eyes and then yawned。 〃It"s been a while since I slept in a bed。 I bet my dad would get a 
kick out of having me under his roof again。〃 
I touched his cheek。 〃Thank you; Jacob。〃 
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〃Anytime; Bella。 But you already know that。〃 
He got up; stretched; kissed the top of Nessie"s head; and then the top of mine。 Finally; he punched 
Edward"s shoulder。 〃See you guys tomorrow。 I guess things are going to be kind of boring now; aren"t 
they?〃 
〃I fervently hope so;〃 Edward said。 
We got up when he was gone; I shifted my weight carefully so that Nessie was never jostled。 I was 
deeply 
grateful to see her getting a sound sleep。 So much weight had been on her tiny shoulders。 It was time she 
got to be a child again—protected and secure。 A few more years of childhood。 
The idea of peace and security reminded me of someone who didn"t have those feelings all the time。 
〃Oh; Jasper?〃 I asked as we turned for the door。 
Jasper was sandwiched tight in between Alice and Esme; somehow seeming more central to the family 
picture than usual。 〃Yes; Bella?〃 
Tm curious—why is J。 Jenks scared stiff by just the sound of your name?〃 
Jasper chuckled。〃It"s just been my experience that some kinds of working relationships are better 
motivated by fear than by moary gain。〃 
I frowned; promising myself that I would take over that working relationship from now on and spare J 
the heart attack that was surely on the way。 
We were kissed and hugged and wished a good night to our family。 The only off note was Nahuel again; 
who looked intently after us; as if he wished he could follow。 
Once we were across the river; we walked barely faster than human speed; in no hurry; holding hands。 I 
was sick of being under a deadline; and I just wanted to take my time。 Edward must have felt the same。 
〃I have to say; I"m thoroughly impressed with Jacob right now;〃 Edward told me。 
〃Thewolves make quite an impact; don"t they?〃 
〃That"s not what I mean。 Not once today did he think about the fact that; according to Nahuel;Nessie 
will befully matured in just six and a half years。〃 
I considered that for a minute。 〃He doesn"t see her that way。 He"s not in a hurry for her to grow up。He 
just wants her to be happy。〃 
〃I know。 Like I said; impressive。 It goes against the grain to say so; but she could do worse。〃 
I frowned。 〃I"m not going to think about that for approximately six and a half more years。〃 
Edward laughed and then sighed。 〃Of course; itlooks like he"ll have some petition to worry about 
when the time es。〃 
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My frown deepened。 〃I noticed。 I"m grateful to Nahuel for today; but all the staring was a little weird。 I 
don"t care if she is the only halfvampire he"s not related to。〃 
〃Oh; he wasn"t staring at her—he was staring at you。〃 
That"s what it had seemed like。。。 but that didn"t make any sense。 〃Why would he do that?〃 
〃Because you"re alive;〃 he said quietly。 
〃You lost me。〃 
〃All his life;〃 he explained;〃—and he"s fifty years older than I am—〃 
〃Decrepit;〃 I interjected。 
Heignored me。 〃He"s always thought of himself as an evil creation; a murderer by nature。 His sistersall 
killed their mothers as well; but they thought nothing of it。 Joham raised them to think of the humans as 
animals; while they 
were gods。 But Nahuel was taught by Huilen; and Huilen loved her sister more than anyone else。 It 
shaped his whole perspective。 And; in some ways; he truly hated himself。〃 
〃That"sso sad;〃I murmured。 
〃And then he saw the three of us—and realized for the first time that just because he ishalf immortal; it 
doesn"t mean he is inherently evil。 He looks at me and sees。。。 what his father should have been。〃 
〃You are fairly ideal in every way;〃 I agreed。 
He snorted and then was serious again。 〃He looks at you and sees the life his mother should have had。〃 
〃Poor Nahuel;〃 Imurmured; and then sighed because I knew I would never be able to think badly of him 
after this; no matter how unfortable his stare made me。 
〃Don"t be sad for him。 He"s happy now。 Today; he"s finally begun to forgive himself。〃 
I smiled for Nahuel"s happiness and then thought that today belonged to happiness。 Though Irina"s 
sacrifice wasa dark shadow against the white light; keeping the moment from perfection; the joy was 
impossible to deny。 The life I"d fought for was safe again。 My family was reunited。 My daughter had a 
beautiful future stretching out endlessly in front of her。 Tomorrow I would go see my father; he would see 
that the fear in my eyes had been replaced with joy; and he would be happy; too。 Suddenly; I was sure 
that I wouldn"t find him there alone。 I hadn"t been as observant as I might have been in the last few 
weeks; but in this moment it was like I"d known all along。 Sue would be with Charlie—thewerewolves" 
mom with the vampire"s dad—and he wouldn"t be alone anymore。 I smiled widely at this new insight。 
But most significant in this tidal wave of happiness was the surest fact ofall: I was with Edward。 
Forever。 
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